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One-eyed preview: The ultimate Magpie match-up

Paul Robinson is one of the men behind the cult social media channels 'The Carlton Draft' and 'The Ressies Footballer'

His Black and White passion is unquestionable, and the views represented in this article are solely his own and not representative of the Collingwood Football Club.

Bob Dylan once wrote “the times, they-are-a changin’.” I’m not entirely sure if he had Collingwood’s 2018 season in mind when he released that song in 1964.

It is eerily fitting, however. The times are-a-changin’, and how quickly they do change.

Only ten matches ago the Buckley haters were cranked to 11, Mason Cox was the most verbally bashed American since Donald Trump, Chris Mayne was a bust and Jordan De Goey was being put to the sword by the media.

Oh, how they ‘a-change.’

Buckley is now being lauded by media for out-coaching Simon Goodwin in one of the biggest football matches of the year.

Mason Cox is executing the much sought-after Leigh Brown role perfectly and winning BOG trophies.

Chris Mayne is rated in the top five for pressure acts for wingmen this season and Jordan De Goey is being crowned King of Melbourne by every paper, radio station and front bar football expert in Australia.

The AFL world is a funny place when Collingwood is winning.

And with all that momentum, this weekend we play no one.

So, what do we do with the bye week? See family? Catch up with friends who don’t support the Pies? Do the household chores which have been avoided since the first ball of the JLT Series was bounced?

None of the above! This week we sit back, relax and let this dream scenario absorb your Black and White think tank.

The setting is quite obviously the MCG.

90,000 screaming Black and White draped ferals are screaming until they are hoarse. The ball is seconds away from being bounced.

Darren Jolly is up against Damien Monkhurst. Monkey is ready and raring, like a shark who smells blood.

Jolly, on the other hand, stands calmly, making note to Scott Pendlebury to be at his left-and side for the tap.

Pendles can’t hear much of Jolly’s instructions. It’s not to do with the crowd, but instead because he has Tony Shaw a centimetre away from his face telling him if he dares to put his head over the ball today, he’ll be belted to Jolimont station.

Tony Shaw. What a legend. Image: AFL Photos.

Up forward (or down back, depending on who you’re supporting) one of the many exciting match-ups of the day is about to take place. Mick Gayfer has gone to Travis Cloke. The human blanket on the Son of David.

At the other end? Ben Johnson stands Peter Daicos. Johnno is going to have his work cut out against the Macedonian Marvel, but he’s beaten other big names before and is too courageous and stubborn to even think about taking a backwards step.

There’s a bit of push and shove around the ground as we get ready to go. It’s all in vein though, because Darren Millane and Dane Swan have already let everyone know that a quiet ale after the game has been organised. Whether it’s held at The Grace Darling or The Albion is yet to be decided. Both Rat-Packs are to meet in the tunnel after the game to discuss.

Alan Didak v Scott Morwood. Sharrod Wellingham v Scott Russell. Heritier Lumumba v Gavin Brown. Mick Malthouse v Leigh Matthews.

I can go on and on about my dream footy match. And let’s be honest, even though I’ve maxed out on my word-count, I probably will in my own time (largely due to my lack of social life, work life or love life).  

Last year at the bye round we were 5-7 and were the talk of the footy world for all the wrong reasons.

This year we are 8-4 and the media are saying we can make a difference in September.

Could the crop of 2018 join the immortals mentioned in my dream Magpie match?
Times are-a-changin’ indeed!

The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the AFL or its clubs