Status: Happier than a seagull with a beak full of chips
My Profile: Born: Black 'n' White
Interested in: Collingwood victories
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*  SHARROD 'SHAZZA' WELLINGHAM
With swine flu pandemic numbers increasing this week it's ironic that the Pies should go well in ham ............errr, I mean Wellingham. It's been a long road back to top form for the former rookie listed leather loving lothario after injury cruelled the latter part of his 2008 season. But there can be no doubting it was worth the wait after his game against Port.

With the Pies all over the shop like dust on a Frenchman's soap he was more instrumental than Tubular Bells in keeping us within striking distance.  In fact, if Swanny hadn't selfishly tried to hog all the action, Shazza might have got 3 Brownlow votes.

* ALAN DIDAK'S HAMSTRINGS

* SIR LEON OF NEON'S SNUFF JOB ON KANE CORNES
Think about it folks.

* NINE IN A ROW!!
If only they were wins and not goals.

* TWO IN A ROW!!
If only they were premierships and not wins!

Delete as friend:

* ALTERNATE STRIPS
I don't wanna re-open this can of worms but if the Mighty Fightin' Maxipies EVER turn up to a game wearing a freakin' fancy dress costume like the Power did I am packing up my crocheted blanket, putting my cucumber sarnies back in their tupperware container, taking my thermos full of hot chocolate and heading home.

They looked like they stepped out of a freakin' WHAM! video clip!!!
Inbox:

Dear Hotrod,
Is it too early to jump on the Brad Dick bandwagon?
I haven't been this excited about a player since Brodie Holland kicked 8 against West Coast. I love Dick.
Matt Whytcross

Well Matt, I think we should all put as little pressure on Dick as possible at this stage.  Which is why I'm not only going to declare him the Magpie with more upside than something with a lot of upside but a future Norm Smith Medallist!
 
G'day Hottie,
I'm at a bit of a loose end as of next week and was wondering if you knew if anything was available at Lexusland. I'm looking for something that pays really well with minimum output. Preferably over 5 years. Can you hook me up?
TW
 
Oh, I'd love to hook you up..........but not with a job.
 
G'day Hottie,
I'm at a bit of a loose end as of next week and was wondering if you knew if anything was available at Lexusland. I'm looking for something that pays really well with minimum output. Preferably over 5 years. Can you hook me up?
S. Trujillo
 
See above

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Please note: the views expressed in the above article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Collingwood Football Club or employees of the club. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of its supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au